The Perfect Summer Day.

Well, it's technically still May but it's close enough to June to qualify. I'm sitting on the front deck watching hummingbirds at the feeder. There are two yellow canaries have a bath by the pond. The perfect summer day. The sun is warm and comforting. There's a breeze to cool me so I'm not too hot. The birds are singing. My dog is sleeping beside my chair. It's pretty much perfect.

Now all I have to do is find a place where it's always like this. Not too hot, not too cold, not too humid and not too dry. Right now Manitoba is the perfect place. Why would anyone ever want to move away? I know it can't last though so if anyone knows a magical land where it a Manitoba summer day everday please let me know.

Ouch,that was a mosquito. Barney came over for a pat on the head. Oh wait, is that a wood tick? Nope - it's four of them. Oh well, as I was saying, I'm really enjoying the morning. Oh how cute - that bird has a twig is in mouth. Looks like he's building a nest. Damn, it's a barn swallow and he's finishing his nest right above my door. Bird crap all over my freshly painted door. Oh well, I won't let little things like that get to me. I'll just savour the moment. I'd finish my ice tea but an ant crawled into it. Oh well, not really thirsty anyway. My, just look how the perennials are coming in. Some are already blooming. I just love the little yellow flowers. And I hear they make good wine too.

Opps, I may have been in the sun a little too long. My skins's a little red. Oh well, it probably won't blister this time. Yes, the leaves are on the trees and my plum tree is starting to blossom. I think I'll take a closer look.

Does anybody know how to get rid of the swelling from a bee sting?

If I Had the Power to Grant Wishes

Birthdays are a time for wishes. You get to make a wish when you blow out the candles. I'm not sure who we direct the wish to, but somewhere in the universe there is a granter of birthday wishes.

Now, there's a job I'd love. Imagine delivering a new bike to a 6 year old and watching the smile. You could watch him climb on his shiny red bike (all bikes should be red). He would push off down the driveway and wobble a bit at first. Then he would circle round and round the block till there was no doubt who was in control of the bike. Then a stray cat with mange would dash out from under the shrubs and scare the little kid and make him fall from the bike and scrape both his knees. Hey, don't blame me. I was just the one who gave him the bike.

But if I could grant wishes I wouldn't have let my darling, Darlene, down. It was her birthday yesterday and I truly suck. I didn't get her card in the mail on time. Actually, I didn't get her card in the mail at all. But that doesn't mean I didn't think about her, several times. It was either to late to call or too early. Yes, I suck. But if I could grant her a wish it would be big. Something like:

I would make her charming and warm and caring. Children would shout in excitement when she appeared. They would give her nicknames to show their affection, like Mrs. B or DingDing. I would give her friends who adore her and family who love her. I would make her funny and wise. I would let her live in a place where the sun always shines and there would be a breeze to cool her. I would give her great taste and a nack for giving people the best gifts. She would make people laugh and always be glad she was around. She would be the kind of woman who lives a great life.

Looks like the real granter of birthday gifts already beat me to it. Then again, she's had the chance to make a lot of birthday wishes already. Oh come on, you didn't think I could go without making a dig about her age did you?

What's standing in the way of your weight loss?

Those who know me may have noticed that I've been slowly packing on the pounds. I am well aware that no pills or gimic is going to make the pounds melt off. I know that the only thing that will help me lose the weight are diet and exercise.

That being said, I know it is easier to make excuses than follow through.

So I am dedicating myself to being a woman of action - my own superhero. Nothing will stop me. I will lose 20 pounds. I will be able to jog 2 miles without stopping. I will have well toned muscles and a six pack.

The only thing standing in my way is a few things that really need to get done. But as soon as my list is complete, I will get on the treadmill. But first I need to:

wash my hair
finish reading "War and Peace"
clean my closet
organize my recipes
put all my pictures into albums
grow out my hair
reshingle the garage
plant the garden
weed the garden
visit a shut in
finish watching American Idol
re-read "War and Peace"
re-wire the basement
build a fence out of drinking straws that will surround the home quarter
rent a scary movie
return my library books
clean the freezer

So if I get all that done today, I'll work on my diet. And as for the exercise - well, let's assume the only 6 pack I'll have will be Budweiser.