This one's for Julia

This edition is dedicated to Julia, whose spirit is sweet.

Once upon a time, there were many sisters.

There was Abby, and Ella and Julia and more.
Indeed, when all told, there were sisters galore.
The family kept growing til we couldn't keep track.
Though some tried to escape and oh yes, that's a fact.

After Abby had fallen and was kept in traction,
the sisters gathered round, prepared to take action.
Ella and Olivia got out of doing the work,
sometimes, the pair can really be jerks.
So in came sweet Julia to tend to her needs.
She worked up a sweat she went at such speed.

But who knew that Abby's need were so extensive.
The shopping alone, was getting expensive.
So although Julia was sick she tended to Abby.
She smiled on days when Abby was crabby.

She cleaned the kitchen and scoured the pots.
She scrubbed the floor and removed all the spots.
She picked up the mail and parcels from Sears.
She tended the wound and coped with the fears.

Somehow she did this, all with a smile.
Julia always did manage to go the extra mile.
It started off innocently enough.
The one day, last week, the going got tough.

She had picked up the groceries, the mail and more.
She took out the trash and vacuumed the floor.
And then Abby said, "Oh dear sister, could I give you one more chore?"
Julie nodded and smiled and said "that's what I'm here for."

Abby said, "there's just a bit of laundry, if you don't mind."
And that's when poor Julia found herself in a bind.
So Julie went down the steep and crooked stair case - 57 steps in all.
She clutched her heart and tried not to fall.

The laundry was piled almost to the roof
Just look in her closet if you need any proof.
She sorted and prewashed the delicate cloth.
She hauled the water and filled up the trough.

It took her 6 days, and as many nights.
But finally Julia had won the fight.
She toted the clothes up the 57 steps.
Though at this point she was all out of pep.

And Abby smiled sweetly and said, one more thing.
"Could you iron my pyjamas?"

And that's when the shit hit the fan and Julia stomped out and got in her car and drove off. Last we heard she was spotted near Regina and was heading south. If you see her please tell her it was just a joke and there's rice pudding waiting for her if she comes home.

My Holiday

My trip to see Darlene.

Air fare $943
Luggage $100
New shoes $120
New clothes $1247
Bathing Suit $69
One that doesn't make me look fat $1,000,000 (don't worry, I couldn't find one)
Gifts for my hosts $1.79
A chance to have Darlene and Ken to myself for 1 week, priceless. For everything else, there's debtor prison.

Position Wanted

This week there was no time for blogging. I was updating my resume. No job in particular but like a good Girl Scout, I wanted to be prepared. If perhaps Donald or Martha realize they are still in need of better talent I need to be ready.

A resume is tough to do because it is important to get your great attributes across on paper. Unfortunately, my best attributes are difficult to put into words, though I've been told my eyes are my best feature. I'm not sure if that's pertinent or even true. (I believe it came from a sailor in a bar near closing time.) So it took some doing to put my best foot forward (my left one - the right one has a bunion.) I outlined my education, my work experience and my unique skills and talents. I'm sure there is a Fortune 500 company looking for a woman who can put her fist in her mouth.

I read it over carefully, realizing the importance of accuracy.

I found the wording a little tricky. How does one explain that I can smile, nod and appear sincere when inside I'm thinking you're full of crap and wondering what's for dinner. Oh yes, interpersonal skills. I know how to unjam the copier and check my email. Excellent technical knowledge. You get the idea.

It then occurred to me that perhaps rather than being accurate or even truthful I might be able to sell myself better if I embellished just a little.

And off I went. I threw around phrases like "the concept and proven effectiveness" "along with exceptional interpersonal skills and a passion for a job well done" "sharing my expertise" "technical skills to produce effective educational materials and the enthusiasm to present these ideas to others".

I sound amazing. If I had a company I would make myself management right off the bat. I created the picture of the perfect administrative assistant. But why stop there. At this point, I should shoot for the moon. Upper management for sure. Or perhaps with creative writing like my resume I should contact the Brothers Grimm. Maybe the market is ready for a new fairtale.