I FEEL LUCKY

I think this is it. The big one. The chance we've all been waiting for. The lottery.

I hear there's an unclaimed ticket in rural Manitoba for last weekends lottery. This has got to be my big chance. No more 9:00 - 5:00. I will finally get to sleep till 10:00. Then rush off for my pedicure. After Rachel Ray has prepared me an exotic breakfast served in the sun room. The Commoner will go to finishing school and learn which fork to use and that butter knives should not be used to clean under the fingernails.

I will have a vast wardrobe of the latest fashions. I will travel extensively doing acts of good will. I will start a charitable foundation. I will learn to paint in watercolours.

I will gather up my family and vacation in the tropics. Get ready cousin, you're getting company.

My staff will ensure the house is spotless, the garden well groomed, the laudry fresh smelling and neatly pressed. Even the sons' rooms will shine and no longer smell like "old bachelor". The expensive accountant will find me a tax haven. Oprah will probably want me on her show. And even though TV adds 10 pounds I will look fabulous. I will have better shoes than Oprah.

And even after I become famous for my philanthropy, I will remain humble.

The only glich is this plan is that I don't buy lottery tickets.

Now all we can hope is that whoever won is family or at least a really, really good friend.

Would the winner of the January 21 lottery please contact me at dontwannaworkanymore.com ?