The Rocky Road

I am trying a new career in homecare. I decided it would do me good so I've agreed to care for the old and infirm. I was assigned Abby as my first patient.

But before I decide if this is my destiny I haven't handed in my resignation. I'm forced to try my new job in between my old one.

So at lunch I dash to Abby's house. I enter with a cheery disposition, I fluff the pillow and take care of simple errands. Abby sits on the coach with a puppy-dog look in her eye and it occurs to me she's expecting something more. Oh, food.

It turns out the morning nurse failed to show. Poor Abby has not been fed or watered for hours.

I was not raised to cook and clean. And can you explain to me why dry toast is not adequate for both lunch and supper? But I'm quite perceptive. I can tell it doesn't suit. The faces that one can make, sheesh!

So I head to the local deli and arrive back at Abby's with scrumptious treats. My efforts are greeted with "DON'T MAKE ME EAT THAT". So I poach eggs and burn some toast. Abby manages to choke one egg down and then turns away from me and won't make eye contact thinking I won't notice the stuff she didn't eat.

It's enough to consider taking on a different shift.

The morning nurse is in charge of opening the house for the day. She also prepares the coffee and breakfast. Breakfast is the only meal I can competently handle. You simply can't screw up rice krispies. Unless you serve then with chocolate milk. But then again, individual taste prevails. Unfortunately, I cannot have the morning shift because apparently getting up at 5:30 doesn't appeal to Abby.

The night nurse has to do the laundry and more of the cleaning. But the night nurse does not get told "DON'T MAKE ME DRINK FROM THAT CUP!"

The most prestigous job belongs to the dressing-change nurse. She is treated with the most respect despite the physical torture she puts Abby through. Go figure.

So I am stuck with lunch duty. And yes, we had toast again. And if the smoke detectors goes off again, too bad. In the words of the famous Wonfur "SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS!"

Fortunately for me I have the weekend off. Wonfur and Gabio are making the trek down from the mountains. I don't think they know what they're in for. I believe they are picking up Dr. Derek to assist. He is well trained in dealing with this type of patient.

So while I soak in the hot tub and enjoy the culinary skills of my in-home chef, Abby and her offspring will have to cope. I hope Gabio vacuums and Wonfur shops. Dr. Derek can assist Nurse Julia with the dressing-changes and I think I'll have a manicure.