The Merits of Marriage

Yep, I complained about the commoner. But after serious consideration I took stock and realized that there's amazing advantages to be married.

My darling is, as we speak, fixing the septic pump for the golf course. This is one of the many services he provides at no cost. He's also that handy at home. He cooks, he cleans, does home repairs, car repairs, shops, landscapes, listens to my whining, pretends not to be horrified by my just-out-of-bed appearance, empties mouse traps, doesn't question my money management skills, listens to me babble, drives all the way when I'm too tired, rubs my feet, laughs at my jokes. The list is endless. So even though he farts in front of me I know I've got it good. Just promise you won't tell him. I'd hate to give up my advantage.